The good and bad of being a cat

As I sightly caressed his fur
I could hear a satisfying purr
his face a blisfull smile
'this must be paradise' he thinks

but it only takes a while
after a look at the tub he shrinks
and he cannot contain the thought
oh dear, this stinks!

The illusion of my childhood

I remember those years
When I had the illusion
That feelings of insecurity
would age with the years

Now that I am nearing
my twenties I just want to
say what an idiot I was
for holding onto such hopes

It does get better
gradually changed into
I have to work for it
Not such an easy task

It would be nice if the
few friendships I have gained
would not cause me
any harm or form of pain

All I ever really wanted
was to enjoy some company
that would somehow last
Is that too much to ask

Eraser 2.0

‘I don’t consider us friends anymore,’ said Shogo in such a cold voice it send shivers down Miharu’s spine. The handsome boy clenched his fists. His usual outgoing behavior was nowhere to be found. With this cold gaze in eyes, he seemed like another person. The wind blew his bangs in front of his eyes.
Miharu looked down. She was just as troubled as the boy that stood across from her. She had crawled herself up and started sobbing. The back of her hand could not hold back the tears from falling down her cheek. They landed on the cemetery as raindrops.

For a while both  remained silent. Shogo just stared into the distance with his mouth formed into a sarcastic smirk. Miharu slightly lifted up her chin. Looking for an explanation in Shogo’s eyes. All she could find were the snowflakes that fell from the sky.
‘What about all the times we had fun? Have you forgotten about them, Shogo?’ she asked through her tears.
As the fragile Koizumi recalled these good times her sniffing increased. Where had that boy with the everlasting smile gone? What had happened to him? Would Shogo be okay?
‘Fun? I don’t know what your kind of fun is, but I didn’t really enjoy myself. You’re holding me back, Miharu and I’m sick of it. I’ll decide what to do or not,’ Shogo said when he finally dared to look Miharu in the eyes.
‘But...’ she only managed to stumble.
‘No! Shut up! Stop bitching about it. You’re irritating,’ said Shogo in such an angry voice that it scared Miharu.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said softly. Wiping away all the teardrops from her eyes. ,I’m not trying to upset you. Can’t we work this out?’
Shogo made a sniffing sound that sounded like ‘heh’ and used his infamous smirk to match the attitude.
‘Don’t you get it? I don’t want to.’ The sentence had stopped very suddenly. Miharu wasn’t sure if she imagined Shogo continuing it in his mind.  For the words she heard didn’t match his cold appearance. I don’t want to do this, but this is for the best.

When the two childhood friends faced each other again, Shogo did something very unexpected – he smiled with such a pure intensity that the girl couldn’t help but blush. How would she ever be able to survive without that sparkling smile? How could she give up on a bond that was so precious to her? When her eyes began to tear up once again she wrapped her arms around Shogo’s chest. How could he be so warm during such a cold winter day?
‘Don’t go, please,’ said the redhead in between her tears.
The Asian boy looked troubled for a quick second, while he did nothing to stop her. Then he gently pushed her away. Gazing at her with a look that was colder than the snowflakes that fell upon them. Seconds after, Shogo turned his back towards Miharu. He raised his hand and walked away. Miharu waited for him to turn around and smile at her once more. She waited until the footprints of his converse were brushed away by a new load of snow.

Eraser

‘I don’t consider us friends anymore,’ I told her, while clenching my fist. My knuckles had turned tomato red, but I didn’t care. Nothing mattered as the cold wind gave her shivers. I resisted the urge to throw my arms around her and keep her warm. Perhaps it wasn’t the wind that made her shiver. My words and cold gaze could have been the trigger as well.
As she started to tear up, I couldn’t bare it anymore. I looked in front of me. Staring into a distance even I could not behold. In front of me I saw all the happy moments we had shared. I saw the laughter, the hugs and for a moment I could feel the warmth. Until I realised it was something of our past. One day she would understand. There would come a day she would forget me and move on with her life. It wasn’t as if she’d liked me anyway.
‘What about the times we had fun? Have you forgotten about them, Shogo?’ she asked through her tears.
If only I had forgotten. Then it wouldn’t hurt me this much to leave her behind.  It didn’t annoy me that much that her sniffing increased, but what was so irritating was the feelings it created within me. Feelings of guilt and regret. I had promised myself not to be sorry about anything. It seemed like I was forced to break that childish promise.
‘Fun? I don’t know what your kind of fun is, but I didn’t really enjoy myself. You’re holding me back, Miharu and I’m sick of it. I’ll decide what to do or not,’ I said finally facing her again.
‘But...’ she only managed to stumble.
‘No! Shut up! Stop bitching about it. You’re irritating.’ This wasn’t me. These words didn’t belong to me. I didn’t mean them, but still, they came out of my mouth. They were delivered with my voice. An angry one, that is.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said softly. Wiping away all the teardrops from her eyes. ,I’ll change if I have to!’
Now I had to confess I did get annoyed. How could she be so stupid to think this had anything to do with her? I was not going to pull the it’s me, not you card. That made us seem too much like a couple. A desire I could never fulfil.
We looked at each other. I smiled my most honest smile. I tried to incorporate all my true feelings into that one gesture. Hoping that her brain would grasp why I had to do this. Her eyes only got bigger and teared up again. I couldn’t say if the blush on her cheeks was due to the cold or the most handsome smile I was capable of.  Snowflakes fell onto our bodies. We would surely catch a cold later on. Though it seems Miharu had already gotten the flue by the way she sniffed.
I turned my back to her sorrow. Raising my hand into the air and then started walking. My shoes left a footprint into the white snow. Happy memories were taunting me again. I remembered playing with my cat and chasing each other through the forest. I remembered the swimming parties, the times we drew together and all my stories I made us relive. Every memory stabbed in my heart. In that same cold night, I made a decision I would spend a lifetime repairing it. I erased most of our happy times. Like they were footsteps that faded by a new load of snow.

Shogo Kurogane - that one boy

Shogo Kurogane is that one boy that knows how to lit up a whole room. Whenever he wants something his dark eyes light up. If he’s sporting that charming smile and intensely looking at you, it’s a sign he wants you. When he’s running his hand through his perfectly silky, but messy hair – which takes him more effort than he will admit – he’s seeking for attention again. Even if you do not want to look at him, it’s hard to resist this charming young boy. He will work girls like a charm with his self-proclaimed ‘magic  touch’. Alas, behind this teenage playboy hides a rebel looking for affection and acknowledgement. His smile and outgoing behavior hide many secrets. Shogo has a short temper though. When he is angry he will clamp his fists together, staring into the distance. His lips are curved into something between a smirk and a sarcastic smile. Even at this moment his eyes will pierce right through you, but the light seems to have fled from them.

if l0ve waz @ game

If love was a game
I’d be the noob
with the fail username
Stuck at level one

If love was a game
You’d be the magician
in my Role Playing Game
because your presence enchants me

If love was a game
My controller would be broken
cause every move is so lame
I’d never level up

If love was a game
Would I be your Link and you my Zelda®
or would things stay the same
and I’d never save my princess Peach

If love was a game
Shall I finally be the epic warrior
That deflects all pain
and fights for your love

If love was a game
Do you want to be part of my LittleBigPlanet®
or would my desire go up in flames
Breaking my kingdom HEARTs

If love was a game
This is my Personal Message
Hoping the hardship won’t be in vain
Can I be your player one >.<?

Time Goes By So Slowly

Time goes by so slowly
when you're gone

Times goes by so slowly
when it's you for which I long

Time goes by so slowly
When you're waiting

Time goes by so slowly
with these thoughts I'm creating

Time goes by so slowly
guess it's nothing new

that time goes by so slowly
when I miss you

The Tale of Legendary Yokai sneek peak

Many years ago men and their companionship roamed the streets. Peace might have been far from accomplished, but never had the world seen a war with such great destruction that not many would survive. This world, said to have been created by supernatural forces, belonged to the three great clans and their ghostly friends. The Koizumi clan from the west, the Kawamoto clan from the south and the Kurogane clan from the northeast. Everyone that had some kind of important status had forged a contract with a yokai. Some were very weak and some were immensely strong, but all were good companionship. Until the nights that must remain unspoken.

The Kurogane were blacksmiths by nature. Forging metal in their desired objects. The business itself was very profitable. It is unsure if many blacksmiths created coins for their own good, but what we do know is that the Kurogane’s were and are the wealthiest clan of all three. Still, greedy as they were they craved for more. Whether it was more power or more land. In fact they wanted more of everything. Thus, the leader of said clan ordered his workers to make the most advanced weapons the world had ever seen. They were made with sweat and tears. A deathly mixture of steel and yokai blood was inserted to crave for ultimate strength. Night after night they forged the metal until they had reached perfection. The weapons of choice diverged from blades to katanas and even maces. All for solely one purpose. To bring forth destruction.

On a dark night, one that had better been forgotten, several Kurogane clan members left their base. They rode on black horses, carrying the steel weapons they had forged. The nearly invisible horse riders had a destination in mind. They were headed south. Along the way the soldiers got in high spirits. They sung about the most horrible things that shall not be recalled. In their minds they had already won the fight. The fighters arrived with loud battle cries. Fire, which the townspeople later referred to as hellfire, surrounded them. The horses were so scared, they pranced and neighed. This resulted into the men to fall off. Quickly they stood. Running into the village as madmen, followed by the horses that had gone out of utter control. The awakening sounds of the villagers were muted by the loud appraisement for Kurogane.

The men of Kawamoto seemed to float out of their houses, as if they were mere ghosts. Their light eyes were empty and made the attackers stop in fear for a moment. The loss of expression was more worrisome than any other look could have been. Overcoming their fears the men of Kurogane grabbed their devices and came at the enemy with immense speed. Some men fell to the ground. Coughing blood and shielding the flesh wound with their hands, for their pride was too big to let fellow clan members have seen their shortcomings. The heartless laughs of the Kurogane fighters filled the air. Yet, some members did not have reason to laugh. Their blades were now struck to the wall after some Kawamoto had successfully evaded their rapid attack. Their fingers seemed to be glued to the metal, for they could not loosen them. They screamed in panic. Summoning the yokai they had bonded with. Other members fled further into the village. Creating fire that burned the houses they passed.

With a reasonable and almost emotionless approach the Kawamoto that stood outside began to aid the wounded ones. Others that couldn’t be of much need tried to lure the children and wives out of their houses. Helping out the ones with higher status first. The steps of zori were overshadowed by the hissing of the Kurogane yokai. The catlike creatures that had suddenly appeared had stretched their tails. A sign of huge discomfort and rage. A white panther growled, as did the other ghostly creatures. The arrival of a man that was wearing a richly embroidered kimono had caught their attention. The men with very light eyes looked upon the poor souls of Kurogane and said: ‘We of Kawamoto will never forget this day. From this day forth we are mutual enemies. Their higher-ups shall be informed.’
With that information he was about to take his leave again. If it had not been for a yokai to attack him, the man would have survived. The creature set his claws into the flesh. Tearing out pieces without regret. The men that were still attached to the wall began to shout. They were blinded by fear, as the yokai turned around and showed his bloody teeth to his master and companions. In his jaw was a limp that had been colored blood red. Suddenly the men were freed and the weapons fell onto the ground. Driven completely mad by the suspense, the lads destroyed everything in their way. Houses, gardens, bushes, members of the Kawamoto clan that escaped in their own pace, but even yokai and fellow soldiers had become the victim. Everything in the tiny village that was very close to the border that divided the Kawamoto and Kurogane nations had been died red. When dawn broke not much was left of the village or even the attackers. Later on it was found out that the members of Kurogane had been intoxicated with booze.